Usually I don't hear anything about Arielle's boyfriends until A. they are no longer in the picture, in which case it's a moot point or B. she's fallen head over heels for them and it's too late for me to change her mind should I want to.
With Carl it was different. I heard about Carl almost right away and although I didn't get to meet him for quite some time (because I was still living in Florida) I heard a lot about him.
Here's how one of our first conversations went; "Hi Mom, I met this guy... His name is Carl and he's tall and really handsome. He has beautiful blue eyes. He's had cancer and he's smart and funny and..." I interrupted her, "I'm sorry Arielle, what was that last one?" "He's funny, she says? "No not that one." "Oh," she says, "He's had cancer?" "Ummmm, Yeah.... that one!
Now I've had my run in's with cancer and from my experience, it's not something you ever want to mess with if you have a choice. In fact, if you have a choice you really should run like hell! However, because the "apple doesn't fall too far from the tree" and Arielle can be as stubborn and as hard headed as her Mom, she was not going to let a little thing like cancer stand in her way. No way. She liked this "Carl" guy and it was on... cancer better step back.
During the first few months cancer behaved itself and took a back seat to this new forming love. I heard more and more about Carl and it sounded to me like this was getting serious. I understood why, he was handsome and he did have beautiful blue eyes and who knows maybe, just maybe this was meant to be.
Unfortunately, cancer got bored with talking the back seat, and in just a few months it reared it's ugly head and came back with a vengeance.
Carl and Arielle took the news in stride... not a lot or fuss or bother. They were just two young people, in love, just starting out and yes ok... they just happen to be dealing with cancer.
Promises and plans were made, dreams were shared and in between chemo therapy appointments, their life together was being mapped out.
The next few months were void of any good news, things got worse. Hope seemed to be running out, but they both carried on. One just as as strong as the other. Life threw them lemons, they made lemonade; life put up roadblocks, they found detours. It was as if they were growing closer and moving forward together as a couple in spite of this cancer.
Weeks went by and the situation became more serious and no matter how much in love they were, how young, how determined how much they fought it... in the end at 4:06AM on December 23 Carl (and Arielle) lost their battle with cancer.
It was the most difficult thing I have ever witnessed... watching my child, my baby, deal with such an enormous loss and such unbearable pain. There wasn't and still isn't a thing I can do to make it better.
Yes, this was a sad story about young love, loss, life lessons and a mother's perspective of the pain her youngest daughter has had to experience at a very young age.
I hope and pray that I never ever have to write this story again.
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